Oh, the Innocence of Children!
by flo-bizet
Summary: Chapter 2: A trip to the zoo could mean many things. In this case, it means conversing with gorillas while others freak out about the kid in the gorilla pit. What's a father to do? Little fluff, mainly humor, T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Date Written:** July 30, 2007

**Summary:** Kenpachi and Yachiru spend a fun, happy day at the park where they are met with battles that could quite possibly thrown them over the edge!

**Flo:** Time for Flo to toss her hat into the Bleach fandom! Admittedly, I'm on a personal hiatus for writing an actual novel, but I've hit a snare with it and hopefully once I get this idea out, I'll be able to head back to it.

**WARNINGS!** Hmmm, crack-ish? Don't think so. But if you dislike mundane situations, don't read. Other than that, none. Which is odd for me. -_shrug_-

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Wow, these are annoying.

**Hope you enjoy!**

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Zaraki was supposed to be fighting. Of course, he was always supposed to be fighting according to himself and he damn well would if his body didn't tire out after a few days of it. Stupid, worthless body. But that wasn't what he was angry at. He was supposed to be fighting Ichigo Kurosaki, specifically. True, there had been talk during the briefing about fighting some other things, but when the words, "real world" had been spoken his mind had gone right to his favorite opponent and the chance to fight and/or kill him.

Sadly, those plans had been dashed for the time being due to the fact that Kurosaki was in school. Now, don't go thinking that Zaraki hadn't considered just busting through the roof to get to him. That had been his very first idea when Ikkaku had told him that that was probably where he was. However, he had also said that Kurosaki would not be able to properly fight him due to location and time. It had taken well over an hour for Zaraki to accept that because a real fighter wouldn't care what was going on when challenged. Idiots. It took even more time to convince him that it was for the best in order to pump himself up for the battle that was surely to come (mind you, they didn't exactly say his battle with Kurosaki).

While Zaraki sat in a corner (not sulking), Yachiru had jumped on him and said that she bet Kurosaki would pass by a place called the park while on his way home from school and that would be the perfect time for them to fight. Zaraki had found that idea highly pleasing and decided to kill two birds with one stone. One stone for releasing the energy Yachiru obviously had boiling inside her from the constant bouncing and the other stone to kill Kurosaki with. Zaraki couldn't remember the last time one of the few plans he had listened to (plans are for pansies) appealed to him so greatly.

So there they were at the freakin' park. Yachiru playing in the sandbox, while Zaraki lounged on a bench bored out of his skull. He was beginning to strongly dislike this park place partly because he couldn't bring out his sword and there were way too many woodland creatures scurrying around for his tastes. Then again, glancing at Yachiru and how much fun she was having without having him have to pay for public destruction (which he never understood because as long as she was happy, those idiots should be happy), he felt that he could take this. Only for a while, though.

At least, that was his thought before _they_ came.

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The day was shaping up to be a near perfect one for Yachiru. She got to go to the fun world, she had discovered the wonders of television that had the best show ever (the news), and since it was were Ichi was, Ken-chan was especially happy. So much so, he agreed to take her to the park! Yes, it was a near perfect day.

Why only "near," you may be thinking? Aside from boring as hell hollows, there didn't seem to be any good fighting for Ken-chan aside from Ichi. And Ichi was being a complete jerk and staying in school instead of fighting Ken-chan! School didn't seem to be helping him at all with his smarts. On the bright side, she had been able to cheer Ken-chan up by convincing him he'd show up at the park. From what she saw on the news, the few fights that happened in this world seemed to happen somewhere near the park. It only made since that that was where they should fight. Ichi just had to show up sometime. If he knew what was good for him, that is.

In the mean time, Yachiru took to making her own battle field in the sand box. She had completed the general layout and soldiers (mounds of dirt with spit for molding) and had just finished working on perfecting their features, such as two strategically placed rocks, plastic on heads, flowers, feathers, a particularly shiny piece of glass, and white hair she got from a bunny (no animals were harmed during the playtime of this child).

She then began work on Ken-chan. He was a lot easier to construct when it came to the main body. For one, she had done it a thousand times, and two, he was pretty much just a giant hill when it came to dirt sculpting. Taking the sticks she had already gathered, Yachiru picked the ones with the leaves at the end for Ken-chan's bells and carefully stuck them in his head. Next was the brown leaf. After crushing it up into pieces, she inspected each one until deeming a perfectly eye shaped piece suitable for the eye patch. For his sword, she simply got another stick and used her nails to sharpen it to the proper point. With another stick, she drew random lines on the figure for his scars. Finally, Yachiru finished her masterpiece by putting a pebble on the left shoulder and placing pink flower petals on the top of it.

Yachiru stood up and smiled at her greatest Sand Ken-chan, ever. This called for the real Ken-chan's viewing. She quickly began to turn around to go fetch him.

At least, that's what she was doing before _he_ came.

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"Why, hello there!" some freaky as hell lady practically sang and a herd of almost, yet not quite, as freaky ladies followed close behind. "I don't believe I've seen you around here before!"

"That's because I haven't been here before," Zaraki said, making sure to have it sound as rude as possible. The obvious intent was for them to leave pissed off. Not pissed off would be much less satisfying.

However, they instead just laughed. Well, the leader started laughing and the herd quickly followed suit, each one sounding exactly the same. Zaraki figured that it must be some cult.

"Oh, you are a card!" the leader said. She then had the gall to sit down beside him. Another reason Zaraki should have brought his sword. "I'm Mary Sue, by the way. Charmed! And you are?" Zaraki kept looking forward, trying to figure out what this bitch was thinking and how stupid exactly was she. "Oh, I see. You're the big, shy type, am I right?" (1)

"Like hell," Zaraki found himself muttering.

"So, are you here alone?"

Zaraki's first thought was to flick the bitch off. Then he got the idea that if he pointed Yachiru out, she might be stupid enough to go up to her and make the mistake of wanting to play. That would be a fate much worse than death. "Nope. My... kid's right there."

Sure enough, the lady took one look at Yachiru and, "Aw! She's so cute! I could just eat her right up! And look! My little Timmy is playing with her!"

"What the hell?"

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"What are you doing in my sandbox, you stupid girl?" some kid said.

"Making a battle field," Yachiru simply answered. "You own this sandbox?"

"Yeah, it's mine! So you can't play in it!"

The stupid kid then proceeded to try and push Yachiru out, but Yachiru being Yachiru, simply stepped to the side making the kid fall out instead of her. "I don't see your name on it, kid." She wasn't angry. Honest. She was actually amused that he thought he could hurt her.

The kid pushed himself back up and glared at Yachiru. "What's your name?"

"Yachiru."

"That's dumb."

Okay, now Yachiru was getting angry. "It is not!" she shouted, stomping her foot. "Ken-chan gave it to me, so don't go saying crap you don't know about!"

"It is so a stupid name!"

"Why?!"

"Because I said so!"

"Well, you're a dumbass!"

"And you're a stupid girl!"

"You're a bastard!"

"Pink haired freak!"

"Bitch boy!"

"Spinach for brains!"

"Jerk off!"

"Butt head!"

"Asshole!"

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"Oh, it seems that Timmy's found a new little girl to pick on!" the Mary Sue lady was saying with an odd little laugh.

"Then shouldn't you go punish him, or something?" Zaraki asked. Before you go thinking that he felt Yachiru couldn't handle herself, Zaraki merely asked that to avoid having to explain why Yachiru killed some 10 year old kid. It'd lead to more nagging and less action.

"Well, boys will be boys, you know!" The herd nodded in agreement. "Can't do much of anything to stop them! And I'm sure he's doing it just because he likes her!"

While giving up on making sense of that logic, Zaraki couldn't help but notice that this Mary Sue lady really didn't seem to have any other facial expression other than smiling. At first he thought she was just a freak. Now he knew she was a freak, but he also came to the conclusion that her face was frozen like that from some unnatural force probably shot into her face.

He quickly took his attention back away from her for fear that she might start thinking he was interested in what she had to say. The sight he beheld in the sandbox was one of relief. Yachiru was having a name calling contest with that mutant's offspring and was, of course, winning by a landslide. He did find it odd that none of the ladies were trying to break it up or were horrified by some of the things Yachiru was saying. Many a times he had witnessed a child say a word in Zaraki's daily vocabulary and get a public beating for it. He slightly wondered what was wrong with these ladies. Or, he was. The answer given was probably the stupidest thing he'd ever heard.

"Listen to that. Aren't children just so innocent?!"

Zaraki was too shocked with the idiocy flowing from this lady that he couldn't think of how retort to such a ridiculous statement. That wasn't innocence! Even if she didn't know what she was saying, it just wasn't. It was bitchiness.

Wait, Zaraki thought. _Does_ she know what they mean?

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"Only stupid girls make dolls in the sand!" the brat was saying, his face mere inches away from Yachiru's.

"They're not dolls, they're action figures!" Yachiru shouted, her voice starting to get even higher with rage. Had this been a person from the Soul Society blatantly insulting her work, she most certainly would not just be yelling at them. However, this boy was not worth her time when it came to physical combat. He was much too weak and it would be incredibly boring. Plus, she had been warned prier to their vacation (how could something so fun be considered work?) that she was not to beat any kids up since they wouldn't stand a chance and if she did, there would be no candy from Byakuya.

"Then they should be mine 'cause girls don't play with action figures!"

"You don't know how to play with 'em!"

"Yeah, I do. Like this!" The boy proceeded to stomp the mini Pachinko head and the bit of glass on it. Yachiru gasped in horror as the brutal sand massacre continued, the boy roaring as he stomped out each one.

"Stop it!" Yachiru was screaming at the top of her lungs making a few birds fly off.

The boy just kept laughing and roaring until he came to the sand Ken-chan. Time slowed down to an unbearable pace as the foot descended upon the sand mound until it made contact. The sticks and leaf were crushed into oblivion, his sword snapping in two. Mini Yachiru flew off into the sand as Sand Ken-chan disintegrated into a thousand grains gone from existance. Yachiru stared for a while at the tiny hill that was Sand Ken-chan while the brat laughed.

Screw candy, Yachiru thought.

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"So what's your wife like?" the Mary Sue lady said, snapping Zaraki out of his ponderings by the laughable question.

"Don't got one," Zaraki scoffed with an eyebrow twich.

"Really? Then where's your little girl's mommy?"

"Hell if I know."

"Then how… Oh, you adopted her! That is so sweet!"

Zaraki was so close to hurling as the herd sighed. His fingers had been twitching desperately for something to cut those people and their leader with for quite some time, but he was debating whether strangling them would be as satisfying as seeing their blood paint the grass. Desperate times called for desperate measures, though.

"However," she was still saying, "it's not good for a little girl to be without a mother."

"You sayin' I don't take care of her properly? If you are, get in line."

"No, no! Oh, don't be silly!" A hand made contact with his shoulder at that. An idea came to Zaraki that could actually work. Perhaps biting her hand off would be close to cutting without a sword than mere strangling. He had always thought that his ridiculously sharp canines for meant for something more than just eating. "What I mean is that she needs some sort of feminine guidance. Someone like me could easily teach her the things all ladies should know!"

As the herd giggled, Zaraki swallowed back down his lunch. Enough was enough.

"Look, bitch-!"

"Timmy!"

Mary Sue's face had actually contorted into some odd look of fear mirrored by the herd. Following their gaze, Zaraki's face burst into a huge, though probably evil looking, grin. To his delight, Yachiru was stomping that brat's head deeper and deeper into the sand box, a new curse coming out of her to emphasize each blow.

The leader and her herd quickly ran to the two and somehow managed to get the brat out from under Yachiru's foot after seeing that they were unable to yank her off of him. The boy looke to be in a state of shock as he coughed up sand, but didn't look bad at all. There was no visible concussion, so Yachiru must have gone easy on him. Zaraki himself got up and made his way towards them, Yachiru quickly meeting him halfway and jumping onto his back.

"Ken-chan!" she was fussing. "That bastard stomped you so I just stomped him back! He asked for it! And I went easy on him, even though he didn't deserve it, but he was being a jerk!"

"Yeah, yeah," Zaraki said.

"How dare you!" the Mary Sue bitch screamed at him. "Your little demon child nearly killed my sweet little Timmy! What do you have to say for all of this?!"

Zaraki looked at the strained glares the women were giving him and smirked. "Aren't children innoccent?"

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In the end, there had been no meeting with Kurosaki. It turned out that the park they went to was on the other side of town from where he went to school and lived. He was sure that somehow, some way, the Soul Society would find out about this and nag him forever about it without actually doing anything. The ladies had also threatened to call Child Services, to which Zaraki dared them to because he could use all the service they could give. It was all pretty damn annoying.

But that kid deserved what he got, Zaraki discovered that you can get surprising satisfaction from seeing plastic faced women try to show how mad they are (admittedly, not as much as he would have gotten from death, but still enough for him to feel like something was done), and Yachiru was happy and had lost a large amount of her hyper activeness from all of her shouting and anger.

Yes, it had been an okay day considering he hadn't gotten to fight, Zaraki mused as Yachiru lightly snored on his back.

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**1.)** This isn't meant to be a Mary Sue parody fic. It was an accident. She was originally supposed to be Mary Beth, like the cosmetic ladies, but she seemed to be hitting on Zaraki and it made me think OC love, so Mary Sue.

**2.)** (side note) You know, I could actually continue this as a one shot Zaraki/Yachiru father/daughter fluff thing. Maybe. Depends.

**A/N:** The self-proclaimed queen of father/daughter fluff when it comes to gruff father figures just couldn't help herself with that last part. What'd everyone think of my first Bleach fic? I admit, it could be better, but I couldn't figure out where it needed tweaking for my like. -_shrug_- Hopefully, I can now return to my book. Maybe get to chapter five.

And WOW! I just glanced at the newest fics in the Bleach section… ALL submitted today! It's like that in the PoT section, too. Why not Tsubasa Chronicles?! We need it most with the latest angst-fest that is Fai's past! And yes, Tsubasa is my main fandom.

You know what to do!

Please leave a review!

As always, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcome with Orihime's cookies! No, not those cookies.


	2. Chapter 2

**Date Written:** August 6, 2007

**Summary:** Everything seems fine. Orihime is able to baby-sit Yachiru while Zaraki takes care of a few hollows, the zoo is entertaining Yachiru, and Ichigo is supposed to stop by there for his unknown fight. Nothing could go wrong! Who are we kidding, the eleventh division is involved here.

**Flo:** I was quite shocked that I got so many reviews for the first chapter, partly because there are so many fics posted and updated here that I thought not as many people would read it as opposed to other fandoms. Not that Flo is complaining! Thank you!

**WARNINGS!** Cursing… sheesh, that is pointless. And crack. More so than last chapter.

**Hope you enjoy!**

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Another hollow defeated in less than 3.5 seconds by the great Zaraki Kenpachi. This would normally be followed by a grunt of annoyance due to the lack of actually effort involved in such a task, however this time was different. It was followed by a grin of pure animalistic joy with a tinge of odd sex appeal. Why? Simple. It was warm up for the battle of the century. Yes, Zaraki had been guaranteed a fight with Kurosaki Ichigo that day and his blood was boiling with excitement. He was so gosh darn happy that he hadn't stopped grinning ever since they got to the zoo. Which, he had to admit, was an odd place to fight. He took Ichigo to be someone who wouldn't want to be in such a public place to fight (the kid was a pansy with that, but as long as the pansy could fight).

Screw that, Zaraki thought as he got back into his gigai. He was promised a fight, so a fight he would get. No matter what. And Yachiru wouldn't lie to him about such a thing, she knew the consequences the entire world would end up facing. Besides, that Orihime girl had met them there and she was so infatuated with Ichigo that he was bond to show up sometime.

As he headed back to where he left Orihime with Yachiru, he noticed a large amount of people running towards the same area he was going. Gorillas must be popular, he thought. That is, until he heard what the people were saying.

"A little girl is in the gorilla pit?!"

Zaraki paused momentarily as that bit of information soaked into his brain. That could be one of two things. The first possibility was, of course, that Yachiru had gotten into the gorilla pit. The other? Yachiru had convinced some other little girl to go into the gorilla pit and/or pushed her in. Neither one sounded like it was something he wanted to deal with.

But with a frustrated sigh, he shoved his hands into his pockets and trudged onward to the unavoidable scene that lay before him.

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Yachiru had an odd mixture of regret and happiness hanging above her. The happiness being from Ken-chan taking her to the zoo. The regret being she had made a small, little, tiny, lie that Ichi would be there in order to fight him. It was small because when she had run into Big Boobs the day before on one of her investigations of the city and as the two talked, Yachiru hinted that she really wanted to go to the zoo. Orihime gladly agreed and immediately began listing off all of the people that should come, one of them being Ichi. That was a good way to get Ken-chan to come, and she really thought he needed to get out and experience the real world a bit more.

Predictably, he had jumped on the offer and so they were off to the zoo the next day along with Pachinko who wanted to watch the fight. Big Boobs had met them at the zoo's entrance with some girl named Tasuki and said that Ichi and Pencil and everyone would meet them inside later. (1) Something to do with a stuffed animal on the loose, she wasn't listening. Meanwhile, Feathers was at home because he said that monkeys were ugly.

Yachiru didn't know why. She was having a great time with the gorilla she was being groomed by.

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Sure enough, when Zaraki arrived there was Orihime leaning over the railing, that Tasuki girl trying to pull her away, and Ikkaku just leaning with his back to it. No Yachiru in sight. That meant she was the little girl in the gorilla pit. This was going to be a very worthless minute.

Shoving his way through the crowd and camera people, he grabbed the back of Orihime's collar above Tasuki and brought her to eye level with him. She looked a bit panicked, which she should have been. He had specifically told her to keep an eye on Yachiru at all times. She probably thought that he was exaggerating.

"Yachiru in there?" he asked.

"Well, you see," Orihime began, her hands frantically waving around, "she is in there with the gorillas and everything but she just wanted to have some fun! You know kids! Like, I remember when I was little I went into the boy's bathroom because I thought that it would be fun, and even though it was actually on accident, it was still very fascinating in there because they had these weird things that I was told are French sinks and-!"

Zaraki dropped her to Tasuki's shock in favor of seeing exactly where Yachiru was. It wasn't that hard because she was the only creature down there with pink hair. Said pink hair was currently having large gorilla hands running through it, picking out things and then putting it in it's mouth.

Does she have lice? Zaraki thought in dread that if it was so, what a pain in the ass it would be to get rid of them.

"We're really sorry, Zaraki-san!" Tasuki was saying from behind him. "We have no idea how she got down there!"

"Yeah," Zaraki muttered. "Hey, Ikkaku! Why haven't you grabbed her already?"

"I tried!" Ikkaku said, clearly a bit offended by this. "But that gorilla won't have any of it! I think it thinks Yachiru is her daughter or something."

Zaraki took a moment to ponder this and concluded that yes, it was quite possible for Yachiru to be mistaken by an ape for a monkey. Never mind that they are two different species.

"Hey!" Zaraki shouted. "Get your ass back up here, already!"

Yachiru looked up at Zaraki before smiling and waving. "Hi, Ken-chan!"

"Don't 'hi' me! I don't want to have to put up with you being covered in fleas and scratching all night! Besides, we got more important things to do!"

"But I need to spend time with Hairy Mom!"

"Hairy Mom? I thought Yamichika was enough of a mom for you."

"No, he's an estranged aunt!"

"Excuse me, sir?" someone said from behind him. "Is that your daughter?"

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Yachiru looked around and didn't see any Ichi. Although, Ken-chan had come back from destroying a hollow so that was okay. He didn't look too happy, though, by the looks of how he picked up Big Boobs and practically glared at her. And then they barely got to talk when some lady interrupted them.

"You think something's wrong with Ken-chan, Hairy Mom?" Yachiru asked the ape that was still grooming her.

Hairy Mom grunted, which Yachiru took to mean, "I'm sure that Ken-chan is just getting edgy from wanting to fight Ichi. Don't worry, Yachiru-chan! Now, let's go play!"

"Okay!"

Yachiru let Hairy Mom lift her up by the arm and place her on her back. Aside from the large amount of hair, it was as big as Ken-chan's back and almost as strong. But still not the same. Surprisingly, Ken-chan smelled better.

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"Uh, yeah," Zaraki said, absent mindedly. "She belongs to me."

"How could you let your daughter fall into there?!" the woman shouted. "Weren't you watching her?!"

"Hey, I had stuff to do! Back off!" Zaraki really didn't have the patience to deal with people who didn't know what the hell they were talking about.

"And so that makes everything okay?!" some other lady said. "Your daughter is in the gorilla pit!"

"No shit!"

"Back off, lady!" that Tasuki girl suddenly butted in. "He told Orihime to watch her! And you try looking after some pink haired, sugar hyped girl!"

"How dare you speak to me like that, young lady!" the bitchy woman yelled.

"I'll speak to you however I want, this is none of your business! How about instead of spouting off how other people should raise their kids, looking at how you raise yours! Or better yet, try actually doing something here?!"

On and on they went, while Zaraki fumed at the entire situation. He hated to resort to such a tactic, but he honestly didn't want a bunch of people harassing him about why he attacked an endangered species, as if, "it had my kid" wasn't a good enough excuse. "I got candy," Zaraki said. He only needed his voice raised slightly to get the desired effect.

From the gorilla's back, Yachiru perked up and squealed, "Candy?!" She then paused, though, instead of running up the wall back to him. "Mmm, not right now, Ken-chan! I got some in my pocket and I'm kinda full!"

"What?!" Zaraki snapped his head to Orihime who was leaning over the railing again. "How much candy did you give her?!"

"Um," Orihime said, going into a thinking position. "Well, there was that ice cream, and gummi bears, and snow caps, and I had baked some cookies but Tasuki said that cookies weren't good for little kids so I instead bought her a crepe from a vender guy, and then when we went to see the birds she ate some bird seed and the same thing happened in the petting zoo, and-"

Zaraki had stopped listening to her after he realized Yachiru was probably due for a sugar crash any minute (not to mention need her stomach pumped). That would make it even harder to get her back up to them on her own. Things were getting annoyingly desperate.

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Ikkaku was getting bored just standing around. Yes, his vice captain was in a gorilla pit but did everybody really have to make such a huge deal about it? She could handle herself. The only reason he was staying there was because of his captain, who he figured was just as fed up with things as he was. At least that Tasuki girl was keeping those nagging mothers off of his and his captain's case. He really didn't want an earful from some annoying lady.

He was brought out of his brooding party by his cell phone vibrating. Sadly it wasn't a signal for a hollow, but just a regular call and from Yumichika. "Yeah?" Ikkaku answered.

"What the hell is going on there?!" Yumichika screeched causing Ikkaku to pull the phone away from his ear.

"What are you talking about?! There aren't any hollows attacking, everything's fine!"

"Then explain to me why I am seeing a news story about Yachiru-chan falling into a what? … Gorilla pit?! Ugh, what disgusting creatures. I'm so glad I skipped out on this."

"Wait, you're watching the news… and it's talking about our vice captain?"

"Yes, it's a breaking news story and everything. Why haven't you gotten her out of there, yet?! She's going to be invested with fleas and ticks and god knows what else!"

"We're working on it!"

"No, you're not! I can see you on the T.V. right now and you're just standing there."

"That's because I'm talking to you, idiot!" Ikkaku paused in his conversation to look up at the camera five feet away from his face. A dangerous smile spread across his face as he said to the camera man, "Get that thing out of my face now." The man shook a bit before running off to go film something else. Ikkaku snorted at how easily the man was scared by such a simple threat. He didn't even say what he would do if he didn't.

"Ew. Ikkaku, must you make such a disgusting face on national television?"

"Who asked you?!"

"Enough of this, is anybody doing anything? What about Captain?"

"Well, he yelled at her a bit and, hang on a second!"

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Yachiru felt funny. Not one minute ago she was ready to wrestle with one of her new gorilla family members, but all of a sudden she wanted to go to sleep. The last time she remembered feeling like this was when she still had to take naps and that was a long time ago.

When she was having a yawning fit, she heard a door opening. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw a guy in a brown uniform creeping towards them with a hose. He looked nervous.

"Don't worry, little girl," he said just barely above a whisper. "Don't be scared. We're going to get you right out of here and back to your daddy, okay?"

"I'm not scared," Yachiru said. "But you are." Really, if the guy wanted to "save" her, he was doing a crappy job. What rescuer's knees knocked together that much? It was kind of funny and Yachiru would have made fun of him if she wasn't so tired. She yawned again as she said, "Hairy Mom, there's a guy behind you with a hose."

Apparently, Yachiru can speak gorilla because Hairy Mom promptly turned around and let out a vicious roar. Yachiru quickly hopped off while Hairy Mom charged at the knocky knees guy and the crowd above gasped and screamed in terror. Yachiru just sat down on some leaves, exhaustion quickly washing over her. She was about to shut her eyes to go to sleep, when a loud _thump!_ reverberated through the ground making her shake a bit.

"Ken-chan!" Yachiru squealed. "You came to play!"

"No, I came to get you out of here already," Ken-chan grumbled. "Do you have any idea how many people are freaked out up there and harassing me because of it?" Yachiru simply smiled at him as her answer.

Knocky knees seemed to have escaped, but Hairy Mom was obviously still agitated. It only increased when she saw Ken-chan too close to Yachiru. She suddenly began to charge at him instead, making the crowd erupt into more screaming and giving Yachiru a head ache. Of course, that could have been because of all of the giant lollipop she had finished right before she jumped in there. And the jaw breakers. And the m&m's. And all the other stuff she had that she couldn't remember.

Placing her attention back between Ken-chan and Hairy Mom, she saw to no surprise that Ken-chan hadn't moved from his spot. If anything, he had just straightened his back to put himself at his full height. Hairy Mom was still charging, but stopped to throw herself up at her full height and roar at him. In return, Ken-chan bared his teeth at her to show he wasn't scared at all. There was a pause as everyone was silent, except for Pachinko head who was yelling into the phone (something along the lines of, "I don't know why there is a huge white spot on Yachiru's dress!").

Ken-chan was looking directly into Hairy Mom's eyes, teeth still showing, as she just stared back. Everyone's breath was being held while Yachiru simply looked back and forth between the two. All was quiet. Until, Hairy Mom slowly turned around and stalked off.

Ken-chan did the same, and lifted Yachiru by the arm and onto his back and proceeded to climb back up the wall. She had to admit, even though Hairy Mom groomed her, her back wasn't as safe feeling as her Ken-chan's.

UuUuUuUuUuUuUuU

"Yachiru-chan, you're okay!" Orihime exclaimed once Zaraki was back.

"Of course she is," Ikkaku said. "See, Yamichika? She's fine. Now quit shouting at me, it wasn't even my fault!"

"That's weird," Orihime continued. "I would think that those reporters would be scrambling to ask you a bunch of questions. I mean, it's not everyday you see someone face off with a gorilla! It's just like in the movies or video games! You must be the Beast Master!"

Zaraki just grunted at the odd statement and began to get out of the shocked crowd, that Tasuki girl included. Orihime had to pull her along to follow with Ikkaku. He heard a few times Tasuki comment to Orihime after a while how she knew such strange people and if he grew up in the jungle or something. He let it slide since she got those women off of his case.

"Hey," he said to a drowsy Yachiru. "Why did you go into the gorilla pit in the first place?"

"Oh, that's easy, Ken-chan!" Yachiru said. "I dropped my lollipop!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

This world seemed to be full of stuff to piss Zaraki off. While staring mindlessly at giraffes (which just pissed him off for no reason) and receiving looks of fear from more zoo goers, Orihime got a call saying that Ichigo couldn't make it because of an arrancar attack. That was the last straw for the day. Zaraki stormed off and into the night, Yachiru still on his back and now sleeping from her sugar crash. He would have gone after Ichigo himself, but Yachiru needed to go to bed before she drooled all over him and once Ichigo probably defeated the stupid thing, there was a chance he wouldn't be up to his normal fighting ability.

The next day would be the day Zaraki would go through the entire city, though, to find that punk and finally kill him, he planned with an evil smirk while Yachiru tightened her grip on his hair.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

**1.)** I think that that would be the weirdest sight. Orihime and Tasuki hanging out with Zaraki and Ikkaku… weird image.

**A/N:** Again, surprised at how many reviews I got. Thank you again! And I have to say that this… is odd. Very odd, and I again can't figure out what I don't like about it and it will take hours for me to figure out which I don't want to do because I need to get back to my book. Sadly, I have already gotten another idea for another chapter AND story, so I fear that it shall be difficult. -_sigh_- Thankfully, I don't have an editor yet to harass me.

And this came to me in the car this morning when I realized that Zaraki is like a gorilla. I cracked up, and then remembered that kid who fell into the gorilla pit in the 90s or something. And voila. Crack!

You know what to do!

Please leave a review!

As always, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed with Zaraki piggy back rides!


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